We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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