there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
