You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
