He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize