I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
