I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize