the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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