You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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