Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she peed on how many people?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
