I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
