Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
