I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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