just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
