You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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