Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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