I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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