This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
