Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
