i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
