He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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