Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize