i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
