He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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