Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
