Me. At least after what I've been through.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
