i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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