All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
