the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
