Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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