I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
