Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
