Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
