We named our party play list daddy issues
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
