Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
