guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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