so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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