I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
