due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
