Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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