There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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