I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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