PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
