did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
