I never want to see another naked old woman again.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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