cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
