this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
