yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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