I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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