i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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