Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
