i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
