I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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