easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I could fuck to npr.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
