update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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