I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We need to rekindle our bromance
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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