don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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