Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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