Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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