two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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