I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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